The MTF Post-Op Transgender Orgasm
Guest Post by Emma
Post Op O
Bear with me here while I walk you through my thought process about GRS post-surgery sensitivity and the transgender orgasm from an MTF perspective.
Whatever I tell you about my MTF post-op orgasm exploration is completely subjective. From the top, I really have no idea how to compare my orgasm with that of a genetic, cis, natal, natural-born, et al. woman. How would I even know that without a first-person reference point? The only thing I can compare with any authority is what my orgasms are like now, with a vagina, versus before with the prior equipment that shall remain nameless. Keep in mind that any similarities that I describe will be circumstantial at best — although I suspect the new reality of reaching an orgasm is somewhere in in the middle.
This may come as a surprise, but I don’t think I ever really processed what I thought or assumed an orgasm would feel like after surgery. I suppose on some instinctual level, I expected it to feel like a projection of the experiences with various sexual partners who have responded with various physical, vocal or emotional feedback during or after sex. The moaning, sweating, trembling part of super-hot sex where, in the end, everyone was satisfied.
Yes, of course it was going to be that, every day, forever. How could it not be?
Again, this is subjective. You’ll have to insert your own idea of a great sexual experience and extrapolate from there. If you’ve never had sex with another woman, you’ll just have to wing it — or maybe ask your neighbor.
Getting back to my poor attempt as guesstimating. Having sex with someone was my only real reference point where the intimacy been close enough to estimate the sensuality of a woman’s body — more specifically, her vagina. If you’re relying on porn as your guidebook, you may be a tad disappointed when the house you’re in doesn’t come crumbling down around you during these epic moments.
As far as I could tell, there were definitely different sensitivities and responses to touch, foreplay, penetration, basically all of it. How all of those responses corresponded to my own erogenous zones, was and still is somewhat of a mystery. I feel rather foolish about my naivete about all of this in many ways — although in my defense, the goal of transitioning was never about reaching some kind of heightened sexual nirvana; it was more along the lines of staying the course. Hopefully, anyway. Remember, there are no guarantees at this stage. What this comes down to for the most part is, going with the flow per se, and assuming the physically transformative aspect of GRS through surgery would change the sexual responsiveness in the same way it did from its aesthetic appearance. If it looks like a vagina, it must behave like one, right? Ummm, as it turns out, not exactly.
If you thought I was going entertain you with tons of GRS regret or sexual disappointment, you can forget about it. Quite the contrary — even with limited attempts during the first 4 months, the orgasms I’ve had have been both challenging and almost frighteningly powerful. Each one has been better than the previous. I should note something here that’s an important part of my story and will probably impact your own experience. I had an Orchiectomy 13 years before I had GRS. My body and libido had long since adjusted to new testosterone and estrogen levels, and have remained consistent since. If you’re not in this camp, your body and brain are going to experience an adjustment period starting around 6 weeks after surgery. Hormones and their efficiency play a big role in our sexual selves before and after GRS or an Orchiectomy and it’s impossible to brush the impact they have on the mind and body aside. Pro Tip: It DOES NOT matter if you’ve been on HRT, blockers etc. and your testosterone is already zero. Trust me on this, you and your libido will feel adjustment for a few weeks. Don’t worry, it passes — but don’t be surprised if returning to sex is the last thing on your mind for a while.
I should disclose now that it’s been just shy of 4 months since my GRS surgery. If we needed a license to operate a vagina, I’d probably have a learner’s permit.
Quick crash course on vaginas, in case you are unaware. There’s a lot of wiping, oozing and sloshing about with a vagina. The put-it-away and forget-it routine are gone. This has been replaced with a flashy higher-maintenance model, complete with a new and improved facade, larger interior and control button. The bigger surprise immediately after GRS was the acute awareness of the familiar old sensations from the skin and nerves that were used by my surgeon, Dr. Sidhbh Gallagher.
I realize the first impulse for most people would be to describe or associate this awareness with some form of phantom limb syndrome. But this was no phantom. The sensations were very real, and emanating from the very same skin and nerves that made up the previous tenant in that region. It was actually a pretty bizarre feeling. It was probably post-op +2 days when the meds wore off enough that I could take a mental inventory trying to map the old sensations to the ones I was currently feeling. I don’t need to go into a lot of detail here, it’s pretty straightforward — the same nerve endings and sensations that I had before had now been “reassigned” to another location. The nerves were yelling at my brain telling me “Hey, heads-up, we’re over here now!”.
Jumping forward a few weeks. You’ll do quite a bit of exploring and healing before you find yourself contemplating sex. After reading dozens of other trans-people’s experiences about their MTF post-op transgender orgasm, the time it takes for sexual desire to crawl its way back to your head ranges from 4 weeks to never. I received a brand-new wand massager as a gift after my surgery. The gift was from me actually because I gleefully anticipated a test run on the external control panel at 6 weeks. Penetrative sex would have to wait for the all clear signal and far more dilating.
Before I continue, I should remind you that I had an Orchiectomy 13 years ago. That’s significant here because it does change some aspects of sex and your approach to it although it never lessened the intensity of my orgasms. Plus, having already been through the great testosterone purge following my Orchiectomy, thankfully, I didn’t have to go through the post-GRS testosterone lull, tiredness and fleeting depression phase all over again. This is probably the main reason my sex drive was quicker to return at 6 weeks instead of 6 months. Unfortunately, I still feel like I have to will myself into sex out of some therapeutic need to bring all the systems back online. Even though I haven’t felt all that hot and bothered in the first few months, it’s more the result of physically healing from the most complicated and invasive surgery procedure I’ve ever had –and believe me, that’s saying something. Based on plenty of other people’s GRS feedback, I feel like my recovery is fairly typical in that regard.
My goal here isn’t to describe the MTF post-op orgasm beyond “great” or “intense” or by making an ssumption that my sense of a multiple orgasm is now in parallel with other women’s. I’m not knocking people who do this. I simply don’t feel confident that it’s an apples = apples comparison at this time. With that in mind, I’ll forgo the details of time and place and focus on the basics of how I got from point A to point O. As I mentioned before, I have a wireless wand massager with 10 different vibration levels or patterns. I stick with the first three. Call them light, medium and heavy, if you will. I hopped on my bed and put some cartoons OR WHATEVER, on the computer screen next to my bed. Grab the wand and start with numero uno. Did I mention I’m a rookie at this? Technically, I might even be a virgin but I’m not really sure how to qualify that status. With the wand on level one, I place it just above the clitoral hood and slowly apply pressure against both the glans nerves running under that area and indirectly touching the clitoris through the hooding. This is directly on top of the old base of operations, it that’s any help. Patriots out there, it’s where one of the towers once stood. From that point, I apply different pressures and wand movements while slowly increasing the wand vibration settings. This can go on for quite some time. It actually took about 3 hours the first time, and that time has decreased from there to just over an hour. So I wouldn’t get my hopes up the first time expecting a “Quickie”. It’s going to take a while. Basically, I just carry on in this manner and explore different areas looking for the bright spots. There’s absolutely no way I can place the wand directly on my clit, not even close it’s way too sensitive. Let me pivot quickly to say this right now and get it off my conscience. I apologize to every woman I’ve ever had sex with for not fully comprehending the sensitivity of your clitoris. It won’t happen again.
Let’s continue. Slowly but surely, all of the mental, visual, and physical stimulation starts to build up, and my mind starts to align with the wand and center on these absolutely glorious little spots right above the clitoris causing that familiar sense of a pending orgasm to spread out like rays from the sun from my head to my toes. Sometimes they are fleeting, and if I don’t relax and stay focused on the sensation and the spot, it just dissipates. Boo! That is a real bummer, because it’s not always easy to get back to that place. Once I get to that point, I just want more and more of it and in many ways, even the smallest adjustment with the wand can change the combination of nerve points along with the clitoral hooding. I completely recognize these well-worn orgasmic sensations. But why shouldn’t I? They are the same nerves serving the same function with the same brain. Why would using all of the same pleasure receptors that have just been “reassigned” to a new map respond differently, or even better? My head says they shouldn’t. Ultimately, my body and orgasm lead me to a different conclusion.
When I start to get to those heightened moments where everything feels inevitable, even now, after a handful of orgasms, I really don’t even know what to expect. The intensity that washed over me at point of no return and caught me completely off-guard. It scared me to the point that after 3 hours, I didn’t, no, couldn’t even follow it through. With the waves of that first climax laying claim to my entire body, I froze like a bag of peas. I don’t know why, it was just overwhelming at that time and in that moment. I told myself I’d be ready the next time.
And ready, I was. The 2nd time, a few days later, is far closer to how I would now characterize the clitorial orgasm. The process was the same, but I felt like I had a better idea of where I going and what to look for along the road. The familiar roadside spots we fondly remember and hope to once again enjoy. This time, the trip to the top of the mountain took about half as long. I’m not sure if it was really more intense than the previous one, but the largest difference was I went with her when she arrived and I mean the whole fantastic trip. I’ve had my fair share of eye-rolling orgasms over the course of my life, using the parts that I had. There’s just no getting around that. At the completion of the 2nd quest, I was laying there, trembling as I could feel the area all around my clitoris throbbing from the attention. I got the sense that up until that moment, my orgasms have been handicapped. More like trying to eat a fast-food hamburger through the wrapper while running down the street in boots. Sure, I might look good, but there was all of this unnecessary overhead that came standard with the original equipment. It was good out of the box, but all the extra features killed the batteries quicker. Now, it feels like someone gave me a master key to the Sun. Is this intensity entirely different? Not so much. I would categorize it more as the addition of new volume knob. If you’ve seen Spinal Tap, you know what that means.
I touched on the other condition that makes, at least my own, post-GRS vagina different when using the wand. Should everything come out sensate, as most surgeons intend, it will take little effort to discover that you have the ability to access and stimulate extremely sensitive areas and nerves at the area just above the cltioral hood. I’ll forgo the anatomy lesson here; just under the surface there’s a banjo of nerves that provide an amusement park full of wonder. Sure, this gold mine of nerves was all there before, but it wasn’t accessible like it is now. When you add that in combination with the clitoral stimulation that I described, there’s a lot to behold.
So, yes, I do think that there’s a lot to be gained through efficiency and nerve stimulation in the post-op MTF transgender orgasm that take the orgasm to a new level. Yet, even with everything laid bare, I’m no closer to providing a valid answer about whether this culmination of pleasure feels the same across all vaginas, regardless of their origin. Someone smarter than I will have to figure out how to do that.
Good luck on your journeys,