In relationships, we never get it right and we never get it done. We are always a work in progress. What is important, really important, is that we enjoy the journey (our day-to-day relationship). Our philosophy is that we joy our way to joyful relationships. We don’t spend the days of our relationship unhappily and then magically reach a place of happily ever after. There is no final destination where we arrive at a great relationship. There is only what we have right now, and the memories we’ve accumulated that we draw on and savor as we go. Years of unhappiness will not lead to happily ever after. Our goal is a to create a happily-ever-now. That’s what we have to work with, the now. We only ever have now.
When we string together enough happily-ever-nows, we are successful in creating happy relationships.
HOW WE HELP LESBIAN COUPLES
We provide safe, informed, and effective care for lesbian relationships through intensive, customized couples retreats in various destinations throughout the US. Every lesbian couple, no matter how long you’ve been together, or what your goals are, is welcome. Adventures in Love is a place where all lesbians couples belong. Let’s face it, a feeling of belonging is not always available to us. Many lesbian couples struggle to find safe, comfortable environments to be open about their relationships, affectionate in front of others, and free from judgment for simply loving a woman. It’s the little things that makes a big difference. We all long for a place where we feel accepted, where we make sense to others, and where we can just be ourselves.
Lesbian Adventures in Love is a unique experience designed expressly for the betterment of lesbian couples. Our primary focus is on learning/enrichment, healing, connection, and play. There is no right way to do relationships, only the way that feels right to the two of you. Currently, our retreat focus is on small, customized experiences. Our retreats are customized to address the issues you have at the time you participate. In time, we plan to incorporate larger lesbian couples retreats that address common relationship concerns at a more affordable price than our cusomized retreats. We believe that an effective retreat will include education, information, skills, and opportunities for the following four key experiences:
When we know better, we do better. The retreat is the starting place for Adventures in Love and you are submerged in more information than you can digest in a long weekend. That’s why we encourage ongoing reading, practicing and exercises after the retreat ends. While you are sure to leave the retreat with very specific skills and new behaviors to practice, as well as a renewed connection and a deeper understanding of yourself and one another, the work must continue. Remember, though, the “work,” does not have to feel like work. In fact, hopefully “the work” begins to feel a lot more like love than like work. Because, afterall, the work is love.
Healing and repair is the magic salve in relationships that allows us to be human, to unintentionally make mistakes and to get things wrong. When we argue, we often say things we don’t mean, or say mean things just to defend ourselves. While this is not ideal, it happens. When this happens, we must be able to repair the damage. Repairing is an ongoing maintenance activity in relationships and we must practice this until it becomes a habit.
For those of you who have completed the weekend, you are aware of the rapid reconnection you experience with your spouse/partner, as well as the quick bonds that develop with the other couples during the retreat. Connection is healing. Humans are wired to connect. When we feel disconnected, there is an uncomfortable feeling of loneliness. Part of our special sauce at Adventures in Love is the emphasis we put on connection, and not just with one another, but with others, too. The new friendships you make during Adventures Retreats are an invaluable part of the experience and we hope you will open yourself to these new connections.
Many lesbian couples have a pattern of nesting once they partner. New couples often reduce time with friends, reduce time spent on hobbies and other personal interests and passions and become more reclusive as a couple. This dynamic can be isolating and puts an unsustainable pressure on your relationship to meet all of your social, emotional, spiritual, and intellectual needs. It’s too much for one person to meet all of these needs.
Often, it is difficult for lesbians to feel secure with their partner having close emotional ties to other women. This results in increased isolation and detatchment from friends in order to create more security with your spouse/partner. Our goal is to create safe opportunities for you to maintain friendships with the couples in your retreat and build new friendships with other lesbians who share a desire to grow healthy relationships.
We believe that above all else, we are designed as joyful beings. Sometimes it is easy to get mired down in achieving, working, routines, and taking care of people, places and things. In all of the rush, the non-stop activity of do, do, do, go, go, go, one of the first things to disappear is play. Sure, you might take time to relax, to socialize, to entertain, etc. But we are talking about playing. We are talking about doing new things, exploring, creating little adventures for yourselves. When is the last time you had a day with no plans like you did when you were dating? You know, the kind of day that centered around simply being together and it didn’t really matter what you did, as long as it allowed you as much time together as possible. Play is an activity that serves no practical purpose other than recreation and enjoyment. Play is important.