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AS ONE OF THE FEW extensively trained relationship therapists in the Midwest, I offer a unique perspective as a LESBIAN THERAPIST, as well as a comprehensive list of relationship services. 

See why you will benefit from a lesbian therapist even those not in lesbian relationships!

AS ONE OF THE FEW extensively trained relationship therapists in the Midwest, I offer a unique perspective as a LESBIAN THERAPIST, as well as a comprehensive list of relationship services. 

See why you will benefit from a lesbian therapist even those not in lesbian relationships!

When we fall in love, we begin looking for ways to make this amazing feeling last forever.

It is natural to want to take that loving feeling and lock it in with a commitment. Sometimes we commit by living together, buying a house together, sharing finances, having a baby, and now LGBT couples can also get legally married.

The goal is to make this incredible feeling of love last forever.

Once we are committed to a relationship, what typically follows does not usually match the dream we imagined.

In fact, what often happens is that we notice how things change. Things are different than we expect. The good news is, this is not only common; it is actually quite predictable and supposed to happen. Yes, there is one thing that you can be certain of whether you are a lesbian woman, gay man, or a heterosexual partner; when you get into a committed relationship, you will experience disappointment. Sorry, it happens to all of us.

 

This is a natural stage in relationship development, and it moves us from a place of feeling like we are “so alike” – the romantic state - to a place of feeling like we are individuals with unique likes, dislikes, quirks and ways of being, called the power struggle. For many couples, this stage can cause a lot of hurt feelings.

Unfortunately, when we are hurt, we tend to act in ways that add more harm than they do help: we become defensive, retreat in cold silence (called stonewalling), criticize, and or complain more than we do when we feel secure and happy.

These behaviors start to feed off of each other and if left unaddressed, we can develop huge resentments, and the most damaging of all, feelings of contempt toward one another. This does not have to be your story. Lesbian couples counseling can help.

We never get relationships “right,” we simply strive for better. Relationship counseling helps couples, become a better us.

COMMON ISSUES ALL COUPLES EXPERIENCE (not just lesbian relationships):

  • Communication problems. You say black, she hears white
  • Feel unheard, argue and fight frequently, and disagree often
  • Loss of intimacy, feeling you are growing apart, and feeling disconnected or not as close as you used to feel
  • Feel like nothing you do is good enough or right
  • Feel disrespected and taken for granted
  • Loss of libido, or feeling undesired, having no sex (lesbian sexless relationship)
  • Difficulty trusting one another
  • Fears that your partner is being unfaithful or having an affair
  • Concern about your future

SOME ISSUES IN LESBIAN RELATIONSHIPS ARE UNIQUE and for these issues, having a lesbian therapist can come in handy:

  • A loss of independence, feeling like you’ve lost yourself in your relationship, often caused by rapid bonding, nesting, and an unbalanced focused on the relationship at the expense of outside friendships, hobbies and interests
  • Difficulty and discomfort initiating sex (a common feeling for women in general, multiplied by two for lesbian couples) which can contribute to a lesbian sexless relationship
  • Statistically, lesbians couples are less sexual than their gay and heterosexual peers
  • Conflicts related to issues with family of origin and a lack of support or boundaries with lesbian couples
  • Negotiating friendships with ex’s is more common among lesbian couples than other couples
  • Gender roles are not as present in same-sex relationships as they are among heterosexual couples, despite gender presentation
  • Differing levels of transparency around sexual orientation can create additional stress for lesbian couples

Are you wondering, can my relationship be saved?

The short answer is, yes, couples therapy can help you save your relationship, and this is true for gay couples, lesbian relationships and heterosexual relationships.

Have you been goggling solutions to help you with your relationship problems, or read self-help books, or maybe talked to friends and family about what you can do, yet your relationship is still not how you wish for it to be?

When something needs repaired, and you don’t have the skills to do it yourself, it makes sense to involve a professional who has studied, practiced and succeeded with other couples.  One of the most important factors involved in selecting a good therapist for your relationship counseling is your comfort with his or her personality. Experience is certainly relevant, but that alone does not do the trick.  You must feel safe to be exactly who you are, express how you feel, and to allow yourself to be vulnerable to the therapy process.  

 

FOR ALL COUPLES, THERAPY CAN HELP...

  • Deepen your friendship and increase your kindness and generosity with one another
  • Strengthen your communication skills
  • Facilitate a meaningful connection and a deeper understanding of one another
  • Offer you an objective view of your relationship – both it’s strengths and it’s challenges
  • Provide you with a roadmap to guide your relationship from where it is, to where you would like your relationship to be
  • Assist you in identifying, addressing, and healing regrets, resentments
  • Provide a safe place to help you verbalize difficult feelings and be heard
  • Allow for genuine repair and forgiveness to take place
  • Encourage gratitude and appreciation for your differences as strengths, rather than challenges
  • Increase your sense of security, trust and safety you’re your partner
  • Enrich your emotional connection
  • Improve your sexual relationship - no longer be in a lesbian sexless relationship
  • Strengthen your self-understanding and encourage your personal growth
  • Reinforce and strengthen your commitment

I have paired my collegiate training as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), and a PhD in Clinical Sexology (if you are seeking a lesbian sex therapist), with additional specialized training in relationship therapy by becoming a certified Imago therapist, and completing the three levels of trainings of the Gottman Method of Couples Therapy. I am extensively trained in relationship therapy, specifically, and I am well versed in many various strategies for successful couples counseling.

THE FIVE KEY AREAS OF COUPLES COUNSELING I OFFER

01.jpg

Premarital or MARRIAGE PREPARATION COUNSELING

getting PREPARED BEFORE TYING the knot

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Couples THERAPY

staying on track, repairing resentments, improving communication and more

02.jpg

Affair RECOVERY

repairing serious relationship wounds

04.jpg

Discernment Counseling

deciding whether to stay or to go

01.jpg

Uncoupling Counseling

intentionally uncoupling with kindness and grace

01.jpg

Premarital or marriage preparation counseling

getting PREPARED BEFORE TYING the knot

THE FIVE KEY AREAS OF COUPLES COUNSELING I OFFER

01.jpg

Premarital or MARRIAGE PREPARATION COUNSELING

getting PREPARED BEFORE TYING the knot

03.jpg

Couples THERAPY

staying on track, repairing resentments, improving communication and more

02.jpg

Affair RECOVERY

repairing serious relationship wounds

04.jpg

Discernment Counseling

deciding whether to stay or to go

01.jpg

Uncoupling Counseling

intentionally uncoupling with kindness and grace

lesbian relationships

Are you wondering what qualifies you to help us?

As a lesbian, and a lesbian therapist, I am personally aware of the unique struggles, stigma, and strengths of being a different. Difference fosters shame if we let it go unchallenged. I was taught to be like everyone else, to grow up and become who others thought I should be in exchange for love, approval and acceptance. As an adolescent and young adult, my sexual orientation felt like a curse; something I had to hide and repress at all costs.

While there was a time when my sexual orientation brought me great shame, I now consider being a lesbian one of my greatest strengths. My relationship counseling is conducted in a shame-free zone. I understand personally and professionally the toxic power of shame and self-hate. There is no good that stems from this, and it is my commitment to insure that every person with whom I work, talk, or interact with feels loving kindness and unconditional positive regard in my presence. I have learned the power of acceptance, allowing and the importance of mindful non-judgment as the best pathway to truly knowing and understanding another.

How this experience helps ALL COUPLES, is rooted in my deep understanding of the importance of you feeling safe and my ability to create a judgement-free container for you to be yourself, and share your true feelings.  I find that every single human being makes sense when I take the time to hear their story, their whole story without judgment. Everyone and everything makes more sense when we intend to understand rather than evaluate.  I seek to understand.

 

I WELCOME THE OPPORTUNITY TO HELP YOU HEAL YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

  • Remember why, out of everyone in the world, she chose you, and you chose her.
  • Reignite your passion for life, your self, and your partner.
  • Discover the next small step that you can take today that will move you in the direction of a better us.
  • Communicate effectively