The short answer is, yes, couples therapy can help you save your relationship, and this is true for gay couples, lesbian relationships, and heterosexual relationships.
Have you been googling solutions to help you with your relationship problems, or read self-help books, or maybe talked to friends and family about what you can do, yet your relationship is still not how you wish for it to be?
When something needs to be repaired, and you don’t have the skills to do it yourself, it makes sense to involve a professional who has studied, practiced and succeeded with other couples. One of the most important factors involved in selecting a good therapist for your relationship counseling is your comfort with his or her personality. Experience is certainly relevant, but that alone does not do the trick. You must feel safe to be exactly who you are, express how you feel, and to allow yourself to be vulnerable to the therapy process.
Can Couples Counseling Help Us?
- Communication problems.
- Insecurity, jealousy and issue of trust
- Chronic conflict, tension and fighting
- Feeling disconnected, unheard, unseen
- Loss of intimacy, feeling you are growing apart
- Mixed libidos or differing sex drives
- Feel like nothing you do is good enough or right
- Feel disrespected and taken for granted
- Feeling undesired, having no sex (sexless relationship)
- Recovering from infidelity or another betrayal
- Concern about your future
- Adjusting to parenthood or other life changes
- Boundary issues
What kinds of issues do you work with?
UNIQUE ISUES FOR LESBIAN COUPLES
- A loss of independence, feeling like you’ve lost yourself in your relationship, often caused by rapid bonding, nesting, and an unbalanced focused on the relationship at the expense of outside friendships, hobbies, and interests
- Difficulty and discomfort initiating sex (a common feeling for women in general, multiplied by two for lesbian couples) which can contribute to a lesbian sexless relationship
- Statistically, lesbians couples are less sexual than their gay and heterosexual peers
- Conflicts related to issues with the family of origin and a lack of support or boundaries with lesbian couples
- Negotiating friendships with exes are more common among lesbian couples than other couples
- Gender roles are not as present in same-sex relationships as they are among heterosexual couples, despite gender presentation
- Differing levels of transparency around sexual orientation can create additional stress for lesbian couples
On a monthly-ish basis, I write “Love Notes” (some people call them newsletters), with information, strategies and insights about how to take care of, heal and grow love and relationships.
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