Lesbian Scissoring, Tribadism, or Oral Sex:  What do lesbians like most?

Of all the various sexual actvities between women, scissoring seems to get the most attention. It is increasingly visible in movies such as Blue Is the Warmest Color, Handmaiden, and Orange is the New Black.  It would be natural to assume that this is a regular sexual activity of lesbians, given the coverage it has been receiving on screen.

In an effort to see if the media representation of lesbian scissoring is accurate, we created a survey of 130 female-identified women who report attraction to women, 12 sexual activities (listed below) were ranked in order of  satisfaction, frequency, and displeasure.

The following lesbian sexual activities were included in the survey:  Clitoral Stimulation by Partner’s Hand or finger, Oral Sex (Receiving), Oral Sex (Giving), Clitoral Stimulation by Vibrator  or Toy, Penetrative Stimulation by Partner’s Hand or Finger, Penetrative Stimulation by Vibrator or other Toy, Tribadism (stimulating clitoris by rubbing it against some part of your partner’s body), Breast Stimulation by partner’s hand, Mutual Masturbation (we pleasure ourselves at the same time), Scissoring (mutual stimulation of clitoris against partner’s clitoris at the same time), Anal Sex (Receiving), and Anal Sex (Giving).

The verdict is in:  lesbian scissoring is not a preferred sexual activity of most lesbians.

Here’s what we learned about the most preferred lesbian sex.

The top MOST SATISFYING LESBIAN SEXUAL ACTIVITIES (as defined by either leading to orgasm or if non-orgasmic, providing maximum pleasure) are:

  • Clitoral stimulation by partner’s hand (67%)
  • Receiving oral sex (64%)
  • Clitoral stimulation by vibrator or toy (55%)
  • Penetrative stimulation by partners hand or fingers (54%)

The top four sexual activities MOST FREQUENTLY engaged in by lesbians are:

  • Clitoral stimulation by partner’s hand (76%)
  • Penetrative stimulation by partner’s hand or fingers (71%)
  • Giving oral sex (68%)
  • Receiving oral sex (60%)

The LEAST ENJOYED sexual activity by lesbians are:

  • receiving anal sex (70%)
  • giving anal sex (58%)
  • lesbian scissoring (33%)

The following survey results are provided for those seeking detailed information about the responses.

Most Satisfying Lesbian Sexual Activities

lesbian scissoring

  • 67% Clitoral Stimulation by Partner’s Hand or finger
  • 64% Oral Sex (Receiving)
  • 55% Clitoral Stimulation by Vibrator  or Toy
  • 54% Penetrative Stimulation by Partner’s Hand or Finger
  • 39% Oral Sex (Giving)
  • 31% Penetrative Stimulation by Vibrator or other Toy
  • 28% Tribadism (stimulating clitoris by rubbing it against some part of your partner’s body)
  • 25% Breast Stimulation by partner’s hand
  • 21% Mutual Masturbation (we pleasure ourselves at the same time)
  • 15% Scissoring (mutual stimulation of clitoris against partner’s clitoris at the same time)
  • 8% Anal Sex (Receiving)
  • 6% Anal Sex (Giving)
  • 4% Other – oral breast stimulation

Sexual Behaviors that Lesbians Report Almost Always Engaging In

  • 75% Clitoral Stimulation by Vibrator  or Toy
  • 70% Penetrative Stimulation by Partner’s Hand or Finger
  • 69% Clitoral Stimulation by Partner’s Hand or finger
  • 68% Oral Sex (Giving)
  • 60% Oral Sex (Receiving)
  • 55% Breast Stimulation by partner’s hand
  • 36% Tribadism (stimulating clitoris by rubbing it against some part of your partner’s body)
  • 20% Penetrative Stimulation by Vibrator or other Toy
  • 10% Scissoring (mutual stimulation of clitoris against partner’s clitoris at the same time)
  • 6% Mutual Masturbation (we pleasure ourselves at the same time)
  • 6% Anal Sex (Receiving)
  • 5% Anal Sex (Giving)
  • OTHER activities noted in the blank text box:
    • Oral stimulation to the breast by a partner (which was an oversight, and meant to be included with “by hand”)
    • Spanking, slapping, and fisting
    • Kissing
    • Oral stimulation all over the body
    • Massage
    • Nibbles

Sexual Activity that Lesbians Report Engaging in Occasionally, but not Regularly

  • 46% Clitoral Stimulation by Vibrator  or Toy
  • 38% Penetrative Stimulation by Vibrator or other Toy
  • 34% Mutual Masturbation (we pleasure ourselves at the same time)
  • 32% Tribadism (stimulating clitoris by rubbing it against some part of your partner’s body)
  • 28% Oral Sex (Receiving)
  • 25% Scissoring (mutual stimulation of clitoris against partner’s clitoris at the same time)
  • 22% Oral Sex (Giving)
  • 19% Penetrative Stimulation by Partner’s Hand or Finger
  • 18% Breast Stimulation by partner’s hand
  • 18% Anal Sex (Giving)
  • 16% Clitoral Stimulation by Partner’s Hand or finger
  • 14% Anal Sex (Receiving)

Sexual Activity that Lesbians Report They Do Not Enjoy

  • 10% Clitoral Stimulation by Vibrator  or Toy
  • 10% Penetrative Stimulation by Vibrator or other Toy
  • 15% Mutual Masturbation (we pleasure ourselves at the same time)
  • 12% Tribadism (stimulating clitoris by rubbing it against some part of your partner’s body)
  • 8% Oral Sex (Receiving)
  • 33% Scissoring (mutual stimulation of clitoris against partner’s clitoris at the same time)
  • 5% Oral Sex (Giving)
  • 19% Penetrative Stimulation by Partner’s Hand or Finger
  • 10% Breast Stimulation by partner’s hand
  • 58% Anal Sex (Giving)
  • 5% Clitoral Stimulation by Partner’s Hand or finger
  • 69% Anal Sex (Receiving)
  • 10% Report NO dislikes

The age of survey respondents

 

Self Identify 

Percentage of Participants Who Experience Orgasm

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ABOUT Michele O’Mara, LCSW, Ph.D.

Relationships are my thing. Some would say, my obsession. While I only scored an 83.75% on my own "How Lesbian Are You" test,  don't let that fool you. Since returning to school in the '90s for my MSW, I knew exactly what I wanted to do: help lesbian couples grow love. 

I am that person who has built her life around one thing: lesbian relationships and women loving women. For fun, I do things like create online quizzes at asklesbians.com, to learn more about real lesbians. Or I write books. like, "Just Ask: 1,000 Questions to Grow Your Relationship," to give couples an easy way to communicate. (www.1000question.app) And, now that our boys are young men, my love, and my wife, Kristen, and I are growing lesbian love through Lesbian Couples Retreats and The Lesbian Roadshow throughout the U.S. in awesome destinations where our motto is, "love out loud" with Adventures in Love.  You can learn more about those at lesbiancouples.co.

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