How do I start chatting with lesbians?
  1. Click “Lesbian Chatroom”  (bottom right corner)

  2. Click on the chat room that applies
  3. Sign-up using email or facebook (this info is not viewable to others, just your chosen username is).  NOTE: GUEST OPTION IS NOT FUNCTIONAL BY OUR CHOICE
  4. For more detailed instructions, see the Help Section below.


Who is behind this free chat?

Michele O’Mara, LCSW, Ph.D., that’s me. Third-person “about me’s” are too impersonal. It’s like saying, “You are loved,” when what I really mean is, “I love you.” Relationships are my thing. Some would say, my obsession. While I only scored an 96% on my own “How Lesbian Are You” test,  don’t let that fool you. Since returning to school in the’90s for my MSW, I knew exactly what I wanted to do: help lesbian couples grow love. While my fantasy to be in the WNBA, and my dream of joining the Peace Corp, or my desire to have twelve children, has faded with time, my fixation on helping lesbians grow love remains. I am that person who has built her life around one thing: lesbian relationships. For fun, I do things like create online quiz’s at asklesbians.com, to learn more about real lesbians. Or I write books. like, “Just Ask: 1,000 Questions to Grow Your Relationship,” to give couples an easy way to communicate. (Shameless plug – you can get this on Kindle on Amazon, as well as an app on Itunes /Google play). And, now that our boys are young men, my love, and my wife, Kristen, and I are growing lesbian love through Lesbian Couples Retreats throughout the U.S. in awesome destinations where our motto is, “love out loud” with Adventures in Love.  You can learn more about those at lesbiancouples.co.


Who's online?

If you wish to communicate with someone 1:1, simply click on the name of the user at the bottom of the list of chat groups.

Change Settings

To adjust the settings for the chat option, you can click on the three lines at the top of the chat box. This will bring you to your picture, handle name and the option to put yourself as online, away, invisible, busy or log out. From here you can also change the sound to on, minimized or off.

Initiate 1:1 text with another member

Initiate 1:1 text with another member. Click on the user you wish to chat with. You will see a chat bubble and if you click on this bubble, you will be able to initiate a 1:1 text with them, or anyone else online.

Change profile information

Change profile information. To change your profile picture or other profile details in the lesbian chat room, click on the menu bar (three white lines on top of the chat box), then click on the profile picture.

Join or start a chat group

Join or start a chat group. There are FIVE different chat group options.

  • ONE: The first group is for ALL MEMBERS, regardless of your relationship status.
  • TWO: Option two is for SINGLE LESBIANS. This room is not for those who are in a committed relationship. This allows you to identify your relationship status by simply entering the correct lesbian chat room.
  • THREE: This is the chat room for COUPLES.  Please do not put yourself in a room that does not reflect your relationship status.
  • FOUR: If you are going through a breakup, and would like specific support for this, join the fourth chat option, BREAKUP CHAT.
  • FIVE: Finally, if you need a place to vent your feelings and it is not productive, nice or feel good, please visit the RANT ROOM to expel your negative energy there so that the other chat rooms can maintain good energy.

Ideally, you can find a category that best fits your interests and identity. You are also able to be in more than one lesbian chat room at a time.

Chat Protocol

1. Everyone’s journey is unique; there is no RIGHT way to become who you really are. 

Share YOUR experiences, support, resources, and sources of inspiration as freely as you wish. Use first person sharing: “I,”  or “My experience has been…” and never from “You should…” or “You need to…” etc.

2. This journey is difficult enough and every word, comment, or interaction we exchange with another either makes their life easier or more difficult. This forum strives to make life easier for those who read these words.

When you share, do so with the intent to add value, comfort, support or relief to others.

3. Misinformation, generalizations, stereotypes, and opinions are easily misconstrued. We do not want to perpetuate false information or stereotypes that are not rooted in fact.

If you provide resources and information that is not based on your own personal “I – statement” sharing, provide references and links to back up your information.

4. This space is co-created. Every word added to the Lesbian Chatroom is a contribution to this site, and it will either add value, or it will diminish the value this room has to offer. Help us create a safe space that feels good.

Share only that which adds value when you contribute to this forum. 

5. Participants in the Lesbian Chatroom are all on a journey of their own. This is not therapy or crisis help. This is not an appropriate place to lean on others to take care of you in ways that extend beyond a social chat. Offer a kind ear, an interesting or funny story, a great discussion topic, and be sure to respect your differences. This is not a place to offer or request help outside of the words exchanged on this forum. If you are in crisis, here is a list of available resources to call or chat with online right now.

Creating a Friends list

To identify your lesbian chat room friends quickly, you can click on their name under the user list. Once you put the cursor over their name, you have the option to click on a star which will list them in your “friends” list of users so you can quickly find out who is online that you know.

Resources for those feeling self-harmful.



The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones.

Phone: (800) 273-TALK (800-273-8255) En Español: (888) 628-9454
Also available via online chat.

Got Questions?

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