Happy Lesbian Relationship Strategy Four: Close the Exits
Relationships sustain on the energy, time, and shared resources that each partner contributes to the partnership. The relationship is nothing but a container to hold these contributions. Without your express involvement in a relationship, there isn’t much to it. Therefore, to sustain a happy lesbian relationship (and of course any relationship), you must be sure to close your exits.
Imagine your relationship is a car. The container that holds the energy, time, and shared resources and contributions to the relationship is your gas tank. If there is a leak in the gas tank you will want to close that up. The same is true for relationships.
Obviously, we need friends, hobbies, social outlets and opportunities to move in the world with independence and freedom. However, there is a difference between doing this in a way that ADDS to your relationship, and doing this in a way that TAKES AWAY from your relationship. To “close the exits” means that you refuse to make choices that take-away from your relationship.
Closing the exit may require you to set clearer boundaries with your families of origin, so that your new partnership is the priority. This may require you to address your addictions to food, drugs/alcohol, sex, and work. You may need to lessen or eliminate your involvement in friendships with people that distract or tempt you away from your partner. You may need to step away to your compulsive need to check Facebook and to put your phone down and spend more time in conversation with your partner.
Check for leaks. Close the exits.