Strategy 23:  Choose Love

choose love, lesbian photo

We choose love, because unlike attractions, love is a choice. For gays and lesbians, the word “choice” can mean a couple of things.  Let me clarify that in this context; I am not referring to the concept that you have a choice as to whom you are attracted, rather you have a choice as to how you nurture that attraction once it presents itself.

A commitment is a choice. The choice does not stop with the commitment. The commitment is the foundation for all of the choices that you continue to make each day. Everyday you have a choice about love, and a choice as to how you communicate your love for your partner.

To love is a decision, a choice; just as you can choose love, you can also choose to not love. Love is a verb.  Remember this, when, in the midst of your long-term relationship, you unexpectedly find the new girl at work quite attractive, and she is flirting with you everyday. When you entertain thoughts of starting fresh, and flirting back, know that these are choices you make. An affair is not an accident. Infidelity is a choice. The decisions you make to be faithful are rooted in the same ability you have to make the decision to be unfaithful. Choose the behaviors that support the person you want to be, and the relationship you want to have.  Choose love.  I think when Sara Bareilles says, “I choose you,” she is choosing love.  If only I could write blogs that sound like this….

I Choose You
Sara Bareilles
Let the bough break, let it come down crashing
Let the sun fade out to a dark sky
I can’t say I’d even notice it was absent
‘Cause I could live by the light in your eyes
I’ll unfold before you
Would have strung together
The very first words of a lifelong love letter
Tell the world that we finally got it all right
I choose
I will become yours and you will become mine
I choose
I choose
You, yeah
There was a time when I would have believed them
If they told me that you could not come true
Just love’s illusion
But then you found me
And everything changed
And I believe in something again
My whole heart
Will be yours forever
This is a beautiful start
To a lifelong love letter
Tell the world that we finally got it all right
I choose
I will