There are many marriage retreats designed for heterosexual couples that promote themselves as LGBT-friendly. Adventures in Love is the only lesbian-specific destination retreat that has been created by a lesbian couple and is exclusively for lesbian/queer (non-binary/non-male inclusive) couples.

The Lesbian Adventures in Love core retreat is a relationship transformation program for lesbian couples that includes the 6 Lesbian Love Codes created by Michele O’Mara, Ph.D.

After two decades of working with lesbian couples, Michele O’Mara, Ph.D. created an immersive, relationship-transformation program for lesbian couples who want to develop the skills to sustain safe, connected, and enjoyable relationships.

The lesbian retreat for couples will address the 6 fundamentals (love codes) of a strong relationship which include:

• GIVE: Giving love is the motor of your relationship. You cannot get from your relationship anything that at least one of you is not giving. The more love you give, the more love you have.

• RECEIVE: If the motor of a relationship is to give love, receiving love is the fuel that keeps the motor running. Receiving love requires an open heart and the vulnerability to let love in. Receiving is how we say “yes,” to love without obstacles, conditions, or doubt.

• UNDERSTAND: To Understand Love is the ability to make sense of, and accurately interpret your partner’s feelings and behaviors in a way that allows her to feel known. Understanding is an emotional process, not a logical process, thus it requires access to emotions; yours and hers. Deep understanding fosters intimacy, friendship and connection.

• PROTECT: When you Protect Love, you keep it safe from harm. This requires both partners to manage their emotions and to establish healthy boundaries to support the well-being of both yourself and your relationship.

• PRIORITIZE: When we Prioritize Love, we move from a mindset of “me” to one of “we.” When you have decisions to make, free time to spend, love to give, and interpretations to make, you consider the needs of your relationship above all else. 

• ENJOY: You can Enjoy Love when you take responsibility for creating positive, uplifting, and joyful interactions as well as incorporating novelty and surprise to keep love alive and a feel-good and satisfying experience.

The love code transformation program is for you if:

• you feel like your relationship is lacking something, then the love codes are for you
• you are questioning whether you are in the right relationship
• you want a sustainable relationship and you are looking for the best way to nourish your friendship, connection and intimacy
• you want actionable steps, and concrete actions you can take to heal, repair and/or enrich your relationship

Our goal is to offer three lesbian retreats for couples a year. We typically offer 5-day lesbian couples retreats in March, October, and June. As demand continues to grow, we plan to increase the number of retreats we offer each year.  To stay informed about upcoming retreats, sign up to receive our Love Notes here.

Every retreat offers a combination of working sessions and time for relaxation and enjoyment.

Specifically, you can expect to leave this retreat with:

• a solid understanding of the 6 Love Codes;
• an accurate understanding of your negative patterns of interaction and how to prevent your natural self-protective instincts from harming your relationship;
• concrete, actionable skills, and strategies necessary to co-create a relationship that effectively supports both of you in stepping into the best, most authentic version of who you really are;
• rapid bonding and deep friendships with other lesbian couples;
• A phenomenal vacation experience you won’t forget;
• A unique opportunity to feel seen and supported and experience a deep sense of relationship validation;
• confidence that your relationship can offer you the love, security, protection, peace, and enjoyment you desire

“It breathed new life into my marriage. I was afraid it would just rehash what we’d done in years of couple’s therapy but it got much deeper in a shorter amount of time and gave us immediately actionable tools and skills. I loved being able to witness and learn from all the other fantastic couples in attendance. Michele and Kristen are so real and committed to walking the talk. 10/10 recommend. The recordings have such valuable information and I’m happy to have them as an ongoing resource. Just wow. The retreat helped me learn how to discover my true feelings and needs and express them effectively. I feel more understood and that has renewed my hope for relationship success. Our conflicts decreased and we are more focused on loving each other. I’m so grateful to have had this uniquely wonderful experience. Thank you.”

– Jennifer K, Seattle, WA

Definitely a dynamic duo! Aja Atwood – MA

Michele and Kristen are so real and committed to walking the talk. 10/10 recommend. The dynamic of you and Kristen being present during the sessions. It was valuable to have you both there demonstrating a real love that deals with real problems, just like we all have. I thought it showed an advanced level of using the tools we were introduced to. #relationshipgoals  – Jennifer K, Seattle, WA

The authenticity that you and Kristen share with the group. Michelle created safety to be uncomfortable (which I felt intensely when either of us was”in the spotlight”) but this was what I wanted from the weekend- to be challenged and to find tools to evolve. That can’t happen without discomfort.  And your direct and assertive feedback was helpful as well as how you were pretty continually modeling of the skills you were teaching; both with us and with Kristen :)C. Z. – Portland, OR

Michele’s brilliance, Kristen’s big huge heart, the portal communication, and the casual feel, all made it so wonderful. – Andrea, Salt Lake City, UT

 Michele is the best counselor I’ve ever been to.  She has the innate ability to make everyone feel comfortable and share.  Michele and Kristen – you guys are a great team and I enjoyed how you both shared your couple stories! Kristen did a fantastic job taking care of logistics – personally making sure we were comfortable and well-fed!  Carolee – Arlington, VA

From the time we entered the house, it was a safe and welcoming environment. Michele is AMAZING. So knowledgeable and cares about everyone, regardless of what issues are at hand. Kristen is the Hostess with the Mostest. – Kristin, Arlington, VA

The way you and Kristen interact with the couples. You treated us like friends, not clients. It made it really easy to let my guard down quickly. A+, I feel so thankful for the experience. No matter how things turn out we are going to be better co-parents because of the tools and knowledge we gained, so thank you, I accomplished my goal. -Angela – Texas

Michele and Kristen were so kind and warm. I am so glad we went. – Pamela Noffsinger – St. Charles, IL

Michele and Kristen – having you both share your perspectives lent a nice balance and more personalized touch: I So glad that we decided to do this so early on in our relationship…enhanced “us” so much!  – Kelly, Bloomington, Indiana

Having both Michele and Kristen there during the group sessions was helpful, they have such a great dynamic. -K. C. Milwaukee, WI

Breakfast will be provided each morning of the retreat.

Dinner will be provided (catered by a local chef) on Tuesday and Wednesday.

*We will inquire about food allergies and preferences

Every retreat operates with a semi-flexible schedule. We generally stick close to the original schedule though there are times that a session will run long or we may make schedule adjustments because of the weather (for adventures) or other unexpected variables.

You can generally expect to have breakfast between 8:30am-9:30am each day and we rarely have sessions past 9:00pm at night. Work sessions are generally 2-3 hours and do not usually exceed a total of 5 hours per day.

We strive to create a comfortable balance of work and play.

All participants are required to be vaccinated to participate in this intimate experience. Please be prepared to send a photocopy of your vaccinations to us after your registration is complete

Cancellation Policy

• A full refund (minus a $150 cancellation fee) up to 90 days prior to the retreat
• 85% refund up to 60 days prior to the retreat start date
• Cancellations that occur less than 60 days prior to the retreat start date are non-refundable. In the event of an unavoidable crisis, such as illness or death of a loved one, you will be provided credit toward a future retreat. If we are not able to find a replacement for your room, the lodging expense we incur will be subtracted from any credit due.

Breakups

A breakup does not qualify as a crisis or unavoidable event. Couples who break up prior to the workshop are encouraged to attend anyway and do not qualify for a refund or a credit if you are outside of the refund window.

If Adventures in Love Cancel a Retreat

In the unlikely event a retreat is canceled by Adventures in Love, a full refund for the workshop or credit for a future workshop (whichever you prefer), will be issued. There will be no reimbursement for the travel expenses you incur.

Transportation

All of your transportation to and from the retreat as well as during the retreat is your responsibility. No reimbursement will be provided for transportation expenses you incur in the event the retreat is canceled for any reason.

• 15+ Session Hours
• 5 Nights Lodging (King Bed & Private Bath)
• 5 Morning Meals (Breakfast)
• 2 Dinners
• (1) 30-minute Private Couples Counseling

Our 5-day immersive lesbian retreats for couples are equivalent to 3-12 months of couples counseling depending on your willingness to bring your whole self to the experience.

Many couples share frustrations about their counseling experiences that include:

• having to educate the counselor about their lesbian relationship
• lack of understanding about issues unique to a same-sex relationships
• difficulty clicking with or relating to the therapist
• feeling like the entire session is spent reliving your interactions from the week before
• leaving the session feeling worse
• intensified conflict and tension after sessions
• feeling like the therapist favors one partner over the other

Trusting your relationship with someone is difficult – as it should be! There is no greater investment you make with your life than the investment you make in your primary relationship. We take your relationship very seriously.

When you invest in an Adventures in Love Retreat for Lesbian Couples, you are choosing an experience that was built specifically for your relationship by a trained couples coach with over 20 years of lesbian relationship counseling experience and significant education, training and credentials in couples counseling.

For five consecutive days you will be offered a strong, safe container to unpack your relationship dynamics, spend time looking at them, understanding them, and developing new skills and strategies to help you create more effective ways of relating.

You are not opened up and left feeling uncomfortable and unravelled only to be told,  “Times up, I’ll see you next week.”

Instead, we are with you each step of the process. We will gently, yet directly, challenge you when necessary and support you and encourage you along the way. We know that what you feel and experience is real, even if it differs from what your partner feels and experiences. There’s enough room to hold both of your experiences, to allow them to unfold and safely co-exist.

We are always on the side of your relationship – not one partner or the other. Our goal is to create the safest, most accepting environment for each couple so you can do the work that awaits you.

Here’s what couples have to say about their experience with Lesbian Adventures in Love:

“This retreat was such a wonderful investment in both time and money. I can’t say enough about how much it built us as a couple and individually. We loved the content, the cadence of the days, &  the location. It felt like a vacation but we came home with new skills, new friends, & a deeper connection. Breakfast was seriously delicious! The sexy Airbnb, midday fun and relaxation, intimate group size, takeaway binder and cards, Michele’s brilliance, Kristen’s big, huge heart, the retreat portal communication, and the casual feel, all made it so wonderful.” – Andrea, Salt Lake City, UT

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“It is very well worth it; you learn a lot about yourself that maybe you didn’t realize before and you do learn new things about your partner. It’s comforting because you see other people with the same issues but in different situations and it lets you know that you are not alone. It’s saving you money and it’s more in-depth than couples counseling.” – Maria Sostre – Milwaukee, WI

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“It was worth my time because it gave me actionable feedback on how to approach conversations with my spouse. Also, it was just nice to spend time with a group of lesbians. it is helpful to hear other couples bring real examples to the class so you can learn from them rather than always using your own, sometimes too painful, examples to learn from. There is less “talking through” your week and more guided learning which we needed. I need someone to push me to understand something rather than just reflecting on your week.” – Roda Hajo, Phoenix, AZ

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“It is truly an investment in the most important relationship you have here on this earth. The focus is on how to communicate with each other and who doesn’t need that?!? So many communication skills apply to other areas of my life too. We are all human and learn at our own speed. It is so refreshing to be with other couples who desire to learn and grow. This means we commit to being vulnerable with each other and give grace which becomes the soil for our own growth. It is structured and guided throughout a whole weekend which allows you to dig deeper and come to terms with your own responsibility and freedom to choose to change for yourself which then blossoms into liberty and growth in your relationship.” – D. Lorenz, Indiana

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“It’s worth every penny and hands down the best relationship information we’ve received.” – Kimberly Meyer, Belleville, IL

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“The retreat was worth every penny! If you want to be closer to your partner and learn how to talk to your partner or wife in a more directed and non-confrontational way, this retreat gives you the skills to do so. Not only was it such a lovely retreat, but the women that attended were all so fantastic and forthcoming. I felt safe and that was important as I wasn’t sure going into it that I would feel that way.” – S. Salt Lake City, UT

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“It was a well-deserved getaway with much work on our relationship.  Michele’s skills are exceptional and well worth our investment. The pre-planning to assure our areas of need were addressed was exceptional and much appreciated. All information, exercises, and coaching were needed & informative.” – Anonymous

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“Hands down must do. No questions asked!! Very helpful tools and very simple ways to apply.  It was like a year of couples counseling in one weekend, with concrete examples, tools, and help. We tackled hard conversations in what seemed impossible before, in 3 days, with ease and with help and guidance. We don’t know too many lesbian couples in our neighborhood (we live in Arizona…) and it was so refreshing to see so many lesbian couples together working on similar issues. It felt so welcoming and helped us work through our “problems” by learning from others. Loved it!” – Jade – Phoenix, AZ

All couples will stay in a modern 8-bedroom retreat home with a private swimming pool for this retreat. Each couple will have a private bedroom with a king-size bed and a private bathroom. The retreat home is conveniently located two blocks from the beach.

The exact address will be made available upon registration.

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