Coming Out Books

Books are a helpful resource when you feel overwhelmed and unsure of what steps to take next.  The following list of books is a place to start as you consider your journey toward coming out.

coming out books 

WOMEN Coming Out of Heterosexual Relationships

Living Two Lives:  Married to a Man and In Love with a Woman by Joanne Fleisher

Early Embraces: True-Life Stories of Women Describing Their First Lesbian Experience by Lindsey Elder (Editor)

From Wedded Wife to Lesbian Life: Stories of Transformation
by Deborah Abbott (Editor), Ellen Farmer (Editor)

Non-Gay Spouses of Gays and Lesbians

The Other Side of the Closet: The Coming-Out Crisis for Straight Spouses and Families, Revised and Expanded Edition
by Amity Pierce Buxton

Just Tell The Truth: Questions Families Ask when Gay Married Men Come Out by Terry L. Norman, Terry L. Norman

 When Husbands Come Out of the Closet by J. Gochros 

The Truth Shall Set You Free: A Memoir by Sally Lowe Whitehead 

Coming Out Books: General

Coming Out: A Handbook for Men by Orland Outland 

 Coming Out Every Day : A Gay, Bisexual, and Questioning Man’s Guidby Ph.D. Bret K. Johnson

Coming Out to Parents: A Two-Way Survival Guide for Lesbians and Gay Men and Their Parents by Mary V. Borhek

Is It a Choice?: Answers to 300 of the Most Frequently Asked Questions About Gay and Lesbian People by Eric Marcus

Unashamed: A Coming-Out Guide for LGBTQ Christians, Amber Cantorna

General Resources on Being Gay and Coming Out Books

Is It a Choice?: Answers to 300 of the Most Frequently Asked Questions About Gay and Lesbian People by Eric Marcus 

Straight Parents, Gay Children: Inspiring Families to Live Honestly and With Greater Understanding by Robert A. Bernstein

Beyond Acceptance: Parents of Lesbians and Gays Talk About Their Experiences by Carolyn Welch GriffinMarian J. WirthArthur G. Wirth,Brian McNaught

Closet Door: A Coming-Out Guide on a Journey Toward Unconditinal Self-Love Griffo, Chelsea

Finally Out: Letting Go of Living Straight, Loren Olson, MD


The Church and the Homosexual by John J. McNeill

Openly Gay, Openly Christian: How the Bible Really Is Gay Friendly by Samuel, Rev. Kader (Paperback)

Got Questions?

4 + 3 =

ABOUT Michele O’Mara, LCSW, Ph.D.

Relationships are my thing. Some would say, my obsession. While I only scored an 83.75% on my own "How Lesbian Are You" test,  don't let that fool you. Since returning to school in the '90s for my MSW, I knew exactly what I wanted to do: help lesbian couples grow love. 

I am that person who has built her life around one thing: lesbian relationships and women loving women. For fun, I do things like create online quizzes at, to learn more about real lesbians. Or I write books. like, "Just Ask: 1,000 Questions to Grow Your Relationship," to give couples an easy way to communicate. ( And, now that our boys are young men, my love, and my wife, Kristen, and I are growing lesbian love through Lesbian Couples Retreats and The Lesbian Roadshow throughout the U.S. in awesome destinations where our motto is, "love out loud" with Adventures in Love.  You can learn more about those at