#1 Desire in Lesbian Relationships is to Feel Loved

#1 Desire in Lesbian Relationships is to Feel Loved


to feel loved
Survey says that above all else, feeling loved is most important to lesbians. In a very brief, no-nonsense survey on asklesbians.com, lesbians were asked not only about how important it is to feel loved, but also to rate 13 other aspects of a relationship according to importance. The scale was 1-5, with one being very low importance, and 5 being the highest importance.

Twenty four lesbians completed the survey. Their ages ranged from age from 18 to over 54 with the majority falling into two age groups:

  • 38% ages 18-24
  • 29% ages 35-44

The bulk of women completing the survey identify as cis-gender female (which means they were assigned female at birth and this gender assignment suits them just fine). Four participants did not identify as cis (one transfemale, and three non-binary).

The following scores represent the weighted scores for each variable on the survey. The higher the number, the more important this variable is to the lesbians who completed the survey.

  • 4.25 Feeling Loved
  • 4.17 Feeling Understood
  • 4.09 Humor
  • 4.08 Overall Relationship Satisfaction
  • 4.04 Sexual Chemistry
  • 3.92 Emotional Connection
  • 3.92 Emotional Safety and Security
  • 3.88 Fidelity/Faithfulness
  • 3.83 Intellectual Connection
  • 3.71 Pleasure from Sex
  • 3.46 Social Compatibility
  • 3.33 Frequency of Sex
  • 2.96 Spiritual Connection
  • 2.5 Financial Security

What surprised me most about these results is that Safety and Security weren’t higher. Granted, the survey sample is small. I’m also curious about what makes financial security so low. I find myself wondering if that is a reflection of not wanting to place the value of money above the value of love? However, for this survey, you can have both (rate them both a 5), so it’s curious to me if there is a rejection of or disinterest in financial security?

The top four make sense to me. Except, again, it’s curious to me that feeling loved doesn’t ring in at a solid 5. Does this mean that there are a couple of lesbians that find that to feel loved is overrated? Or feeling understood is only generally important, but not always important?

  • 4.25 Feeling Loved
  • 4.17 Feeling Understood
  • 4.09 Humor
  • 4.08 Overall Relationship Satisfaction

These surveys always leave me even more curious. How about you? What do you think about these results? Do you agree it’s most important to feel loved in your relationship?

ABOUT Michele O’Mara, LCSW, Ph.D.

Relationships are my thing. Some would say, my obsession. While I only scored an 83.75% on my own "How Lesbian Are You" test,  don't let that fool you. Since returning to school in the '90s for my MSW, I knew exactly what I wanted to do: help lesbian couples grow love. 

I am that person who has built her life around one thing: lesbian relationships and women loving women. For fun, I do things like create online quizzes at asklesbians.com, to learn more about real lesbians. Or I write books. like, "Just Ask: 1,000 Questions to Grow Your Relationship," to give couples an easy way to communicate. (www.1000question.app) And, now that our boys are young men, my love, and my wife, Kristen, and I are growing lesbian love through Lesbian Couples Retreats and The Lesbian Roadshow throughout the U.S. in awesome destinations where our motto is, "love out loud" with Adventures in Love.  You can learn more about those at lesbiancouples.co.

Lesbians Dogs and Divorces

Lesbians Dogs and Divorces

Lesbians Dogs: Who gets Custody if There’s a Breakup

 

Survey Visits: 389

Survey’s Completed: 159

The lesbians dogs custody survey was reader-suggested. For this great topic, we are looking at the relationship between lesbians and their dogs. 

For starters, the lesbians dogs custody survey inquired about how many lesbian couples adopted, purchased or acquired a dog with a female partner. A whoooping 74% said yes, and only 26% said no. 

At what point in your relationship did you get a dog?

  • 0-3 months ~ 3%
  • 4-6 months ~ 9%
  • 7 -11 months ~ 14%
  • 1-3 years ~ 39%
  • 4+ years ~ 9%
  • Does not apply ~ 25%

What this means is that in less than one year, 26% of lesbians who completed the lesbians dogs custody survey got a dog with their new partner. This may lend some credence to the uhaul lesbians effect discussed here.

 

In how many different relationships have you acquired a new dog with a female partner?

  • 0 ~ 35%
  • 1 ~ 39%
  • 2 ~ 22%
  • 3 ~ 4%
  • 4+ ~ 1%

It seems that after trying this once, (39%) the interest in accumulating a dog with a partner diminishes. Perhaps this is because one or both already have a dog, or maybe it is because they  are still with the dog’s co-mom. However, in the lesbians dogs custody survey only 27% report adding a dog to a new relationship more than once.

What was the reason you wanted to adopt or purchase a dog with your partner?

  • My partner wanted one ~ 28%
  • I wanted one ~ 14%
  • We both wanted one ~ 50%
  • To feel like we “own” something together ~ 8%

 In years one through three, 58% of lesbians report getting a dog because they both wanted one. This seems to be the most common reason and the most frequently reported time frame for getting one.

Interestingly, 18% of women who completed the lesbians dogs custody survey say they have kept, or will keep, the dog in the event of a separation, even though it was their partner’s idea to get one. There are 60% of women stating the partner wanting the dog keeps the dog, and 17% report joint custody of the dog.

    Who retained custody of the dog, or will retain custody of the dog, if there is a break up?

    • I will keep, or have kept the dog ~ 24%
    • She will keep, or has kept, the dog ~ 25%
    • WE would have, or do have, joint custody 11%
    • I have experienced both situations where have gotten the dog, and I have lost the dog ~ 12%
    • Break up? We are in it for the U-Haul…I mean the long haul ~ 28%

    Interesting observation: of those reporting they are in it for the long haul, 18% are in their first relationship, 27% are in their second relationship, 43% are in their 3rd to 5th relationship, 9% are in their 6th to 10th relationship and 2% are in their 11th or more relationship. Relationship optimism seems most prevalent among those in their 3rd to 5th relationship.

    What is your age?

    • 18-24 ~ 18%
    • 25-34 ~ 18%
    • 35-44 ~ 23%
    • 45-54 ~ 30%
    • 55+ ~ 10%

    How many lesbian relationships have you had?

    • 0 ~ 0%
    • 1 ~ 11%
    • 2 ~ 16%
    • 3-5 ~ 55%
    • 6-10 ~ 16%
    • 11+ ~ 3%

    Uhaul Lesbians and their Dating Behavior

    Uhaul Lesbians and their Dating Behavior

    Uhaul Lesbians Dating Behavior

    This is a quick summary of the feedback for our survey on how quickly lesbians move from dating to committing, to see if there is any merit to the Uhaul joke, about “what does a lesbian bring on a second date?” … “A u-haul.”

    We had 404 Visits to the survey. Of those visitors, 105 brave lesbians completed the questions. Here’s how they responded.

    How long have you been dating women?

    To get an idea of who the uhaul lesbians are in this survey, we have inquired about how long women have been dating lesbians. The majority of women (92%) have been dating women, in general, for at least one year. And 76% have been dating women for over 3 years.

    • <1 year ~ 8%
    • 1-3 years ~ 16%
    • 4-9 years ~ 21%
    • 10-20 years ~ 31%
    • 21+ years ~ 24%

    On average, how long do you date a woman before committing to be exclusive with another woman?

    To verify whether or not uhaul lesbians still exist, we are asking one simple question. How long do you date before you commit? Of course, this does not mean that the couples move in together, as the Uhaul suggestions, but it does indicate how quickly women commit to one another which is certainly a part of the uhaul lesbians phenomenon.

    Of the women who completed this survey, 86% commit to a woman between 1-10 dates. In fact, 40% of women report having committed to being exclusive with a woman after only one to four dates.

    • 1-4 dates ~ 40%
    • 5-10 dates ~ 46%
    • 11-20 dates ~ 11%
    • 21-60 dates ~ 2%
    • 60 or more dates ~ 2%

    With how many women have you had at least one date (mutually agreed upon time spent together to get to know each other in a romantic context – which does not require physical contact to qualify as a date) in your lifetime?

    • None ~ 0
    • 1 ~ 10%
    • 2-4 ~37%
    • 5-10 ~ 31%
    • 11-20 ~ 11%
    • 20-30 ~ 4%
    • 30+ ~ 7%

    With how many women have you had at least one date where there was physical contact (at least kissing or more)?

    • None ~ 6%
    • 1 ~ 11%
    • 2-4 ~36%
    • 5-10 ~ 28%
    • 11-20 ~ 11%
    • 20-30 ~ 4%
    • 30+ ~ 6%

    How old are you?

    • 18-24 ~ 21%
    • 24-29 ~ 11%
    • 29-30 ~ 2%
    • 31-35 ~ 11%
    • 36-40 ~ 12%
    • 41-50 ~ 25%
    • 50+ 19%

    How many committed, intimate relationships with a woman have you had?

    • 1 ~ 17%
    • 2 ~ 27%
    • 3-5 ~ 47%
    • 6-10 ~ 8%
    • 11+ ~ 2%

    It seems there continues to be some merit to the idea of uhaul lesbians that move quickly when they fall for a woman. Eight-six percent of women report they commit to becoming exclusive at some point between one and ten dates. Forty-percent of these women say they commit in less than 5 dates.

    What happens to the dogs when lesbians break up?

     

    Lesbian Scissoring, Tribadism, or Oral Sex: What do gay women like?

    Lesbian Scissoring, Tribadism, or Oral Sex: What do gay women like?

    Lesbian Scissoring, Tribadism, or Oral Sex:  What do lesbians like most?

    Of all the various sexual actvities between women, scissoring seems to get the most attention. It is increasingly visible in movies such as Blue Is the Warmest Color, Handmaiden, and Orange is the New Black.  It would be natural to assume that this is a regular sexual activity of lesbians, given the coverage it has been receiving on screen.

    In an effort to see if the media representation of lesbian scissoring is accurate, we created a survey of 130 female-identified women who report attraction to women, 12 sexual activities (listed below) were ranked in order of  satisfaction, frequency, and displeasure.

    The following lesbian sexual activities were included in the survey:  Clitoral Stimulation by Partner’s Hand or finger, Oral Sex (Receiving), Oral Sex (Giving), Clitoral Stimulation by Vibrator  or Toy, Penetrative Stimulation by Partner’s Hand or Finger, Penetrative Stimulation by Vibrator or other Toy, Tribadism (stimulating clitoris by rubbing it against some part of your partner’s body), Breast Stimulation by partner’s hand, Mutual Masturbation (we pleasure ourselves at the same time), Scissoring (mutual stimulation of clitoris against partner’s clitoris at the same time), Anal Sex (Receiving), and Anal Sex (Giving).

    The verdict is in:  lesbian scissoring is not a preferred sexual activity of most lesbians.

    Here’s what we learned about the most preferred lesbian sex.

    The top MOST SATISFYING LESBIAN SEXUAL ACTIVITIES (as defined by either leading to orgasm or if non-orgasmic, providing maximum pleasure) are:

    • Clitoral stimulation by partner’s hand (67%)
    • Receiving oral sex (64%)
    • Clitoral stimulation by vibrator or toy (55%)
    • Penetrative stimulation by partners hand or fingers (54%)

    The top four sexual activities MOST FREQUENTLY engaged in by lesbians are:

    • Clitoral stimulation by partner’s hand (76%)
    • Penetrative stimulation by partner’s hand or fingers (71%)
    • Giving oral sex (68%)
    • Receiving oral sex (60%)

    The LEAST ENJOYED sexual activity by lesbians are:

    • receiving anal sex (70%)
    • giving anal sex (58%)
    • lesbian scissoring (33%)

    The following survey results are provided for those seeking detailed information about the responses.

    Most Satisfying Lesbian Sexual Activities

    lesbian scissoring

    • 67% Clitoral Stimulation by Partner’s Hand or finger
    • 64% Oral Sex (Receiving)
    • 55% Clitoral Stimulation by Vibrator  or Toy
    • 54% Penetrative Stimulation by Partner’s Hand or Finger
    • 39% Oral Sex (Giving)
    • 31% Penetrative Stimulation by Vibrator or other Toy
    • 28% Tribadism (stimulating clitoris by rubbing it against some part of your partner’s body)
    • 25% Breast Stimulation by partner’s hand
    • 21% Mutual Masturbation (we pleasure ourselves at the same time)
    • 15% Scissoring (mutual stimulation of clitoris against partner’s clitoris at the same time)
    • 8% Anal Sex (Receiving)
    • 6% Anal Sex (Giving)
    • 4% Other – oral breast stimulation

    Sexual Behaviors that Lesbians Report Almost Always Engaging In

    • 75% Clitoral Stimulation by Vibrator  or Toy
    • 70% Penetrative Stimulation by Partner’s Hand or Finger
    • 69% Clitoral Stimulation by Partner’s Hand or finger
    • 68% Oral Sex (Giving)
    • 60% Oral Sex (Receiving)
    • 55% Breast Stimulation by partner’s hand
    • 36% Tribadism (stimulating clitoris by rubbing it against some part of your partner’s body)
    • 20% Penetrative Stimulation by Vibrator or other Toy
    • 10% Scissoring (mutual stimulation of clitoris against partner’s clitoris at the same time)
    • 6% Mutual Masturbation (we pleasure ourselves at the same time)
    • 6% Anal Sex (Receiving)
    • 5% Anal Sex (Giving)
    • OTHER activities noted in the blank text box:
      • Oral stimulation to the breast by a partner (which was an oversight, and meant to be included with “by hand”)
      • Spanking, slapping, and fisting
      • Kissing
      • Oral stimulation all over the body
      • Massage
      • Nibbles

    Sexual Activity that Lesbians Report Engaging in Occasionally, but not Regularly

    • 46% Clitoral Stimulation by Vibrator  or Toy
    • 38% Penetrative Stimulation by Vibrator or other Toy
    • 34% Mutual Masturbation (we pleasure ourselves at the same time)
    • 32% Tribadism (stimulating clitoris by rubbing it against some part of your partner’s body)
    • 28% Oral Sex (Receiving)
    • 25% Scissoring (mutual stimulation of clitoris against partner’s clitoris at the same time)
    • 22% Oral Sex (Giving)
    • 19% Penetrative Stimulation by Partner’s Hand or Finger
    • 18% Breast Stimulation by partner’s hand
    • 18% Anal Sex (Giving)
    • 16% Clitoral Stimulation by Partner’s Hand or finger
    • 14% Anal Sex (Receiving)

    Sexual Activity that Lesbians Report They Do Not Enjoy

    • 10% Clitoral Stimulation by Vibrator  or Toy
    • 10% Penetrative Stimulation by Vibrator or other Toy
    • 15% Mutual Masturbation (we pleasure ourselves at the same time)
    • 12% Tribadism (stimulating clitoris by rubbing it against some part of your partner’s body)
    • 8% Oral Sex (Receiving)
    • 33% Scissoring (mutual stimulation of clitoris against partner’s clitoris at the same time)
    • 5% Oral Sex (Giving)
    • 19% Penetrative Stimulation by Partner’s Hand or Finger
    • 10% Breast Stimulation by partner’s hand
    • 58% Anal Sex (Giving)
    • 5% Clitoral Stimulation by Partner’s Hand or finger
    • 69% Anal Sex (Receiving)
    • 10% Report NO dislikes

    The age of survey respondents

     

    Self Identify 

    Percentage of Participants Who Experience Orgasm

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    ABOUT Michele O’Mara, LCSW, Ph.D.

    Relationships are my thing. Some would say, my obsession. While I only scored an 83.75% on my own "How Lesbian Are You" test,  don't let that fool you. Since returning to school in the '90s for my MSW, I knew exactly what I wanted to do: help lesbian couples grow love. 

    I am that person who has built her life around one thing: lesbian relationships and women loving women. For fun, I do things like create online quizzes at asklesbians.com, to learn more about real lesbians. Or I write books. like, "Just Ask: 1,000 Questions to Grow Your Relationship," to give couples an easy way to communicate. (www.1000question.app) And, now that our boys are young men, my love, and my wife, Kristen, and I are growing lesbian love through Lesbian Couples Retreats and The Lesbian Roadshow throughout the U.S. in awesome destinations where our motto is, "love out loud" with Adventures in Love.  You can learn more about those at lesbiancouples.co.

    Lesbian Bed Death Meaning and History

    Lesbian Bed Death Meaning and History

    Lesbian Bed Death Meaning and History

    Is the death bed really a thing for lesbian couples?

     

    lesbian bed death, death bed, lesbian sex quiz, lesbian death bedWhat is lesbian bed death?

    When I first heard this term, I associated its meaning with violence (like a lesbian killing her partner in bed) and death (or a lesbian dying in bed). Yes, pretty concrete of me. I share this in case you have had a similar thought run through your head. Fortunately, lesbian bed death has nothing to do with lesbians killing or lesbians dying in bed.

    It’s a strange, but sticky phrase that dates back to the ’80s. While it is not clear when and precisely where or by whom the term was created, there is a long and winding journey (which I traced while working on my Ph.D. dissertation on lesbian sexuality) that reveals the history and development of this phrase.

    Admittedly, for some, this part of this article will be too much (boring) information and you may wish to skip to learning how often lesbians report having sex.

    Quick Links to Article Content

     

    Where it all started

    In 1983, a research study was published that identified lesbian couples as the least sexual couple pairing (Pepper Schwartz and Phillip Blumstein). This research led to more research which further confirmed that lesbians were not only having less sex than other couples, they were also experiencing a more rapid and dramatic drop in sexual frequency as their relationships continued (Loulan 1984). Soon, these statistics were broadcast in the media and just like that, a narrative of lesbians as non-sexual started to coalesce in our culture. And, it still lingers in our collective conscience today.

    The three-word phrase that captured the essence of this emerging concept of lesbians having infrequent sexual activity, combined with a rapid decline in sexual frequency in long-term relationships is lesbian bed death (LBD).

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    Lesbian Bed Death Meaning

    Lesbian Bed Death describes a phenomenon in which lesbian couples experience a comparatively lower rate of sexual frequency as well as a rapid decline in sexual frequency the longer they are coupled.

    Who coined the phrase lesbian bed death?

     Three women are most commonly credited for the phrase, lesbian bed death: researcher and co-author of the book American Couples, Pepper Schwartz;  author of Lesbian Sex  (1984) Joann Loulan; and famous lesbian comedian Kate Clinton.  

    When American Couples was published in 1983, it provided a credible source to describe lesbians as less sexually active than other couple pairs. How they arrived at this conclusion was through a massive study of 12,000 couples, in which Schwartz and Blumstein explored the behaviors of four couple pairings: married, co-habitating (heterosexuals), gay males and lesbian couples. Lesbians were identified as the pairing with the lowest rates of sexual frequency. When I asked Dr. Schwartz if she coined the phrase lesbian bed death in response to their research, she said, “It is attributed to me—people I know say I said it—but I never wrote it. Sadly, I have no memory about it—so I can’t deny or confirm!”

    LESBIAN TEST – HOW LESBIAN ARE YOU?

     

    Shortly after American Couples was published, Joann Loulan authored Lesbian Sex in 1984. In a conversation with Loulan, she shared with me, “I did not coin the phrase Lesbian Bed Death.” She explained, “I used it frequently, but of course my life was (and is) trying to make that change within the lesbian community and make sex sexy again.” 

    The last source credited for this phrase, Kate Clinton, also denied creating this unflattering narrative. She did, however, joke that rather than a same-sex relationship, she often joked that lesbians have a “some sex relationship.” Clinton led me to LGBT advocate Sue Hyde and her partner Jade McGleughlin. Sue Hyde thought her partner, Jade McGleughlin, was the one who captured the “entire phenomenon of decreasing lesbian sex activity in long term couples” into the well-known phrase in 1985 or so.  In a conversation with Jade McGleughlin, however, she said she believed the phrase “coalesced spontaneously among a group of lesbians for whom it captured an experience particular to that moment.”

    This is consistent with Sue Moir, another lesbian whose name surfaced during my search for the roots of LBD, who said she heard this phrase “at a dyke gabfest in Newton,” and shared it with McGleughlin. McGleughlin was working on a Master’s thesis at the time on the topic of lesbian bed death. While she didn’t coin the phrase, she said she viewed herslf as a messenger. During the 1987 March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights, McGleughlin gave a speech during the Sex and Politics Forum. Sue Moir was there, and Moir said, “I can tell you it was the first time that the audience had heard it [lesbian bed death].”

    The timing of McGleughlin’s speech also coincided with the lesbian sexuality research (Schwartz and Blumstein 1983, Loulan 1984, 1987) at the time, which became an accelerant for the spread of the LBD message. Ultimately, Lesbian Bed Death took on a new and unintended meaning that gave shape to lesbian sexuality as inferior, and in some way doomed. McGleughlin expressed regret about the impact of this phrase. In her opinion, the phrase “collapsed the complexity of lesbian sexuality,” and what might otherwise have been a historical phenomenon became a “condensation” and “condemnation” of lesbian sexuality. Ultimately, it took a village of lesbians to create a shared narrative about the experience of declining sexual activity in lesbian relationships and this message spread like wildfire across the United States.

    Three women are commonly credited with the phrase lesbian bed death.

    Pepper Schwartz, Co-Author of American Couples

    “It is attributed to me—people I know say I said it—but I never wrote it. Sadly, I have no memory about it—so I can’t deny or confirm!”

    Joann Loulan, author of Lesbian Sex

    “I did not coin the phrase Lesbian Bed Death.” She admitted, “I used it frequently, but of course my life was (and is) trying to make that change within the lesbian community and make sex sexy again.”

    Kate Clinton, Lesbian Comedian

    Always the comedian, Clinton joked that lesbians aren’t in a same-sex relationships, they are in a “some-sex relationships.”

    Sexual Frequency of Lesbians

    Until the 80’s lesbians were judged negatively if they had sex with women. Therefore, as lesbian bed death gained some traction, and the collective conscious shifted, it was an ironic flip of the script when lesbians were being judged for not having enough sex with women. Go figure! Most of the research between the 80’s and 2010 (when I conducted my own research) was consistently reporting lower levels of sexual frequency for lesbians than other couple pairings. 

    I was also seeing lesbian couples in my private practice who were reporting low levels of sexual activity. Same-sex female couples would report having minimal and sometimes no sexual activity for years. This was a key motivation for my return to school in 2010 to get my PhD in Clinical Sexology. I wanted to understand lesbian sexuality better, therefore, the focus of my research was lesbian sexual frequency and how this affects lesbian relationship satisfaction.

    I conducted my research with 498 lesbians. Using a snowball approach to finding lesbians, I started with the large sample of lesbians I knew from providing same-sex couples counseling to females for over a decade. With the help of social media, the initial group of lebians I contacted were able to then reach out to other lesbians across the United States to create a wider-reaching sample. Lesbians from most states were represented, and 

    This is what I learned:

    • 12% reported having no sex in the last six months
    • 37% reported having sex once or less per month
    • 20% report having sex 2-3 x’s per month
    • 27% report having sex 1- 3 x’s weekly
    • 5% report having sex 5 or more times weekly

    Sexual Frequency of Lesbians Based on Age

    Age

    4+ x’s
    Per Week

    1-3 x’s
    Per Week

    2-3 x’s
    Per Month

    1x Monthly
    or Less

    1x weekly or more

    < 21 Years (n=6)

    17%

    17%

    33%

    33%

    34%

    21-30 Years (n=50)

    10%

    38%

    18%

    34%

    48%

    31-40 Years (n=127)

    6%

    28%

    20%

    47%d

    34%

    41-50 Years (n=169)

    4%

    27%

    24%

    44%

    31%

    51-60 Years (n=72)

    6%

    15%

    17%

    63%

    21%

    60 + Years (n=15)

    7%

    7%

    13%

    73%

    14%

    (Percentages reflect sexual frequencies per age group and n=lesbians per age )

    Summary of Sexual Frequency of Lesbians Based on Age

    As might be expected, lesbians in their 20’s report the greatest frequency of sexual activity, followed by women in their 30’s. There is a minimal decline in reported sexual frequency for women in their 40’s and the most significant drop occurs with lesbians once they turn 50. Because 51 is the average age of menopause, and menopause is known to affect women’s libido, the 10% drop in sexual frequency that is reported by women in their 50’s is not a shocking discovery. 

    What is important about sexual frequency is whether or not you are happy and satisfied with your sexual relationship with your partner. There is no right amount of sex that anyone “should” be having, regardless of your sexual orientation. Sex is personal, and it plays a different role in the lives of different women. The key is to understand what sex means to you, what sex means to your partner or wife, and to maintain open communication about your respective needs, and how each of you can get your needs met in your relationship. 

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    ABOUT THE AUTHOR

    Michele O’Mara, LCSW, Ph.D. is an expert lesbian relationship coach and psychotherapist with a comfortable obsession with all things related to love and relationships between women. She is particularly fascinated by lesbian couples in blended families, issues of infidelity, lesbian sexuality, and recovery from lesbian breakups. She is the author of Just Ask: 1,000 Questions to Grow Your Relationship, which is available in paperback or Kindle on Amazon, as well as an app on Itunes /Google play. As a side-hobby, she operates a quirky site called “AskLesbians.com” where she randomly polls lesbians to satisfy the quirkiest of curiosities. Lastly, she and her wife Kristen host Lesbian Couples Retreats in various destinations, and you can learn more about those at lesbiancouples.co.

    This article is an adaption of Chapter Six of a dissertation written by Michele O'Mara, PhD. Tap here t read the entire dissertation in a pdf format.

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