LESBIANS #1 DESIRE IN RELATIONSHIPS IS TO FEEL LOVED

Twenty-four lesbians (20 cis, 1 trans-female, 3 non-binary) responded to this informal survey where they rated 14 aspects of being in a relationship in order of importance.

Admittedly,I have a thing for surveys. I am insatiably curious about what people think, how they feel, and what’s important to them. I guess it’s a good thing that this is what I do for a profession. In this very brief, no-nonsense survey, lesbians were asked not only about how important it is to feel loved, but also to rate 13 other aspects of a relationship according to importance. The scale was 1-5. One is the lowest on the scale of importance, and five is the highest.

Twenty four lesbians completed the survey. I’d like to get about 100 more responses to see if the results change, with a more statistically relevant response rate.

The ages for the  18 to over 54 with the majority falling into two age groups:

• 38% ages 18-24
• 29% ages 35-44

The bulk of women completing the survey identify as cis-gender female (which means they were assigned female at birth and this gender assignment suits them just fine). Four participants did not identify as cis (one transfemale, and three non-binary).

The following scores represent the weighted scores for each variable on the survey. The higher the number, the more important this variable is to the lesbians who completed the survey.

• 4.25 Feeling Loved
• 4.17 Feeling Understood
• 4.09 Humor
• 4.08 Overall Relationship Satisfaction
• 4.04 Sexual Chemistry
• 3.92 Emotional Connection
• 3.92 Emotional Safety and Security
• 3.88 Fidelity/Faithfulness
• 3.83 Intellectual Connection
• 3.71 Pleasure from Sex
• 3.46 Social Compatibility
• 3.33 Frequency of Sex
• 2.96 Spiritual Connection
• 2.5 Financial Security

What surprised me most about these results is that Safety and Emotional Security did not register higher. Granted, the survey sample is way too small to have any statistical value. I’m also curious about what makes financial security so low. I find myself wondering if that is a reflection of not wanting to place the value of money above the value of love? However, for this survey, you can have both (rate them both a 5), so it’s curious to me if there is a rejection of or disinterest in financial security?

The top four make sense to me. Except, again, it’s interesting to me that feeling loved doesn’t ring in at a solid 5. Who doesn’t want to feel loved? Does this mean that there are a couple of lesbians that believe feeling loved is overrated? Or feeling understood is only generally important, but not always important?

• 4.25 Feeling Loved
• 4.17 Feeling Understood
• 4.09 Humor
• 4.08 Overall Relationship Satisfaction

These surveys always leave me even more curious. How about you? What do you think about these results? Do you agree it’s most important to feel loved in your relationship?

If you want to take the survey and add greater statistical value to the results, here’s where you can do that. 

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