Lesbian Adventures in Love is a uniquely specialized, one-stop service for all things relationship-related for lesbian couples’ concerns (queer and non-binary inclusive).
Lesbian Relationship Coaching
I had no idea what I wanted to do when I grew up until I read a book Getting the love you want. Author, Harville Hendrix, explains the Imago Theory and why we are drawn to the people we fall in love with and the healing power of relationships.
For the past two decades, I have been helping lesbian couples harness the healing power of love in their relationships.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
My practice is 100% virtual for coaching and counseling services. What this means is that instead of meeting in a physical office, coaching and counseling lesbian couples takes place online via zoom.us in my HIPPA secure zoom room: zoom.us/j/3175170065
If your work schedule requires that you and your partner join a session from different locations, this is also an option with zoom.us.
Many people call from the privacy of their car on lunch breaks, from hotel rooms when traveling, or from the comfort of your home.
To inquire about my availability, please email me.
My online scheduler is available 24/7 at omaratime.com. After registering, only one of you will schedule the two of you. If you are seeking reimbursement from your insurance company (for Indiana residents only), the one seeking reimbursement should schedule the session, so your receipts are in the correct name.
Coaching vs Counseling
Once you BOTH have registered on my client portal (register separately – it’s a HIPPA thing), you will need to decide if you prefer couples counseling (only for Indiana residents) or couples coaching (available to everyone).
COACHING VS COUNSELING: WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE?
COUNSELING is designed to identify and treat mental health issues within the scope of diagnoses listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual which lists these so-called mental “disorders.”
The focus of counseling is on “treating” mental health disorders and it requires a diagnosis. This is the only service that allows you to seek reimbursement for payments made for counseling services.
To read more about how I feel about this, click here. Also, because counseling is a licensed service, your therapist must be licensed in the state where you are physically located. My license is only valid for Indiana. This means, if you do not live in Indiana, you must opt for Coaching services.
LESBIAN COUPLES COACHING is my preferred style of working with people. I am focused on helping individuals and couples identify the life they wish to live, and supporting them in achieving this. The focus is not on what’s wrong (“disorders”), instead, the focus is on where you want to head with your relationship.
Coaching creates a more authentic relationship between the provider (me) and the couple (you), because we join efforts to move your relationship toward a more desirable state that feels the way you want. Coaching is invested in your relationship dreams, not in diagnoses and treatment.
Select the service you prefer and complete the forms (Coaching forms 1-2, or Counseling forms 1-4).
Session Options an Fees
45-50 minute session ($145) – Budget-friendly option for couples
80 minutes ($225) – Preferred length for couples
2 hours ($325)
Typically, insurance companies do not cover the service of “couples counseling,” or “relationship counseling.” They will, however, cover a diagnosable issue for the identified client. For this and many other reasons, I have opted to be out-of-network for all insurance companies. This means that you may have the option to be reimbursed at an out-of-network rate determined by your insurance coverage, and once you pay for your services with me, you can submit your paid receipts directly to your insurance company for reimbursement.
HELPFUL INFORMATION ABOUT UNDERSTANDING YOUR MENTAL HEALTH BENEFITS
To determine your benefit information, contact the customer care # on your insurance card and request the following information:
1. What are my out-of-network mental health benefits?
2. What is my out-of-network deductible?
3. How many sessions am I allowed per year?
4. Where do I send claims for reimbursement?
5. What is the typical length of turn-around time it takes you to reimburse a claim?
* They may ask you for a diagnosis and a CPT code. To give them something to work with, you can use: diagnosis F43.20 or ICD9 #309.9 (same thing, different systems); CPT code is 90837 for my 85-minute sessions or, 90834 is for my 50-minute session.
** You may also want to ask, “What is your usual and customary reimbursement for this?” What that means is, if you pay $225 for your session, they may say they consider an 85 minute session to only be worth $175. In this example, your reimbursement will be whatever percentage of $175 that they cover for an 85 minute session (90837), because it is based on their “usual and customary” rate, not my rate.
Hopefully, this information helps you avoid any unnecessary surprises.
What to expect from Lesbian Couples Coaching or Counseling
Relationships are fluid, dynamic, co-created entities and while most couples have similar patterns of interaction that result in disconnection, conflict, and difficulties, the way I approach couples coaching and counseling is to:
1. Establish what is going on.
The first order of business is to establish a genuine and thorough understanding of how each partner feels and experiences their relationship. Relationships are driven by feelings, and to be of help, we must have a genuine understanding of how each partner experiences the relationship.
2. Assess the motivation and desire to improve the relationship.
(On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being I’ll do anything and 1 being I’ve got one foot out the door) how motivated are you to work on this relationship?
If one partner brings less than a “5” motivation to the experience, it is likely a better route to engage in Discernment Counseling which is a clarification process, not counseling or coaching, rather it is a decision-making process that facilitates a deeper understanding of why one partner has “one-foot-out-the-door,” by identifying her unmet needs. The goal is to come to a decision within a few sessions about whether or not to commit to coaching or counseling. Both partners must have both feet in the relationship to begin the work of relational healing.
3. Identify and prioritize your relationship goals and remove the obstacles to achieving them.
Are you headed in the same direction? How do you wish for your relationship to feel? Who and how do you want to be in your relationship?
What is preventing you from experiencing your relationship the way you would like to? How does your relationship resonate with old hurts you’ve experienced?
We will work to understand your unresolved hurts, and betrayals (current hurts that are active in your relationship right now, as well as old hurts that continue to impact you from prior relationships). Then, together, we will begin to heal the impact these hurts have on your trust, vulnerability, and commitment to one another.
We will also explore the gap between how each of you wishes for your relationship to look and feel and how each of you actually experience your relationship.
4. Expose the dance. Every couple has a dance of communication that usually involves a combination of effective and ineffective styles. These dances become habits of interaction and often couples must learn new interaction patterns that create more accurate and effective communication.
Effective communication about sensitive topics and areas of disagreement is essential in order to begin the work of repairing and/or growing your relationship.
5. Begin the work of healing, repairing, and growing the relationship. Once the above is established (and sometimes that can take just one session, other times it can take several to achieve those goals), attention is directed toward the issues that were prioritized in #3 above.
All things relationship –
that’s my jam.
Whether you are seeking LESBIAN couples counseling to heal a relationship you are in, or you are seeking individual counseling because your partner or spouse will not join you, or you desire a space to process your lesbian relationship concerns, or you wish to process a breakup, or navigating being single – this is what I do.
I love working with those who do not fit the mold.
The greatest compliment I receive from clients is that they experience me as “real,” and that they feel comfortable just being exactly who they are. I want you to show up exactly as you are. If you normally use profanity to express yourself, then use profanity.
If humor’s a big part of your personality – bring your sense of humor. I have a deep appreciation for those who identify as “different,” and not the “norm.” Whether it’s because you are lesbian, or you are in a poly relationship, or because you have a particular kink, or you don’t subscribe to strict gender roles – whatever makes you different is also what makes you, you.
Whatever you do,
Individual Lesbian Relationship Concerns
- Relationship Conflicts
- Breakup/Divorce Recovery
- Dating Concerns
- Commitment Struggles
- Coping with Infidelity
- Sibling or Family Conflicts
- Friendship Conflicts
- Work Relationship Conflicts
What have you done for your relationship lately?
If you want to feel better about your lesbian relationship, ask yourself this question: What am I doing to make things better? Our first instinct is to turn toward our spouse or partner and hold them responsible for our pain. Learn 52 ways you can improve your relationship starting now.
Nothing changes, unless something changes.